If It Weren't For Duct-Tape

Can't begin to count all
The times that I have been
Saved from deadly perils
Whether its because of a fall
Caused by one of Jack's schemes
Pete's often times harrowing missions
Penny's comments which lead to trouble
Or all the other things I've seen
Because of a handy invention
Known as Duct-Tape

If It Weren't For Duct-Tape
That marvelous invention
I'd have long ago wound up
In some rather unnerving scrap
If It Weren't For Duct-Tape

Or for all those times I've
Narrowly cheated death traps
Brought on by a certain lunatic
By the name of Murdock!
Fortunatly I'm able to get
Away which I'm certain mocks
Him to no known end!

If It Weren't For Duct-Tape
That marvelous invention
I'd have long ago wound up
In some rather unnerving scrap
If It Weren't For Duct-Tape

Is there nothing that Duct-Tape
Cannot ever mend, and fix?
Doubtful hey its helped me
A lot especially whenever
I've plotted an easy escape!

If It Weren't For Duct-Tape
That marvelous invention
I'd have long ago wound up
In some rather unnerving scrap
If It Weren't For Duct-Tape

There have been many times
When I have often wondered
Just how much of a crime
It would be to close Jack Dalton's
Mouth for him before he gets
Me into anymore trouble!

If It Weren't For Duct-Tape
That marvelous invention
I'd have long ago wound up
In some rather unnerving scrap
If It Weren't For Duct-Tape

With just a roll I am already
For whatever I've got thrown
Into either because of Pete
Jack, or Penny not that I
Do mind all that much because
Hey Duct-Tape its always there
In a pinch especially for tieing
Someone to a chair

If It Weren't For Duct-Tape
That marvelous invention
I'd have long ago wound up
In some rather unnerving scrap
If It Weren't For Duct-Tape

Good ole' Duct-Tape it never
Lets me Down not even when it
Has been switched with an inferior
Brand by...JAAAAAAACK!!!!